Sex Therapy & Sex Coaching
Intimacy and Relationship Help 
for Couples and Individuals

Life is NOT a Problem to be Solved

It is an experience to be lived.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just because I am in the helping profession, but it often seems to me that most of the time most people relate to life as though it were a problem to be solved.

As a society we are fed this story everywhere: by media, by our government, by the personal growth gurus, the pastors, the doctors, the educators, the healers, and yes even the therapists. 

Problem: Depression.  Solution? Pills

Problem: Fear. Solution?  Numb it with anything you can get your hands on.

Problem: Uncertainty. Solution? Coping skills, Religion, False Promises of Control.

The fundamental challenges of being human brings forth the inconvenient truth that we all must face at some point or another in life: that we are not in control, that life happens whether we are in agreement with it or not, and that we actually NEED ONE ANOTHER to not only survive but to thrive.

But too often we are led to believe that if we just learn this tool or that technique or buy that product or that service, that all of our suffering will be eliminated.

For just a small monthly fee we can pay to become like gods and goddesses flying high in the sky.

High above the inconvenient truth of the human condition which brings with it the full and complete array of the human experience:  The rainbow of sorrow, grief, pain, suffering, guilt, anger, war, AND  blessings, joy, connection, beauty, bliss, truth, freedom and love……and eventually? Death.

This addiction to escape is fed by the unseen river of what are known as the THREE UNIVERSAL FEARS (Rejection, Abandonment, Trust)

These fears operate in your subconscious, silently dictating every choice you have made in your life up until now. These FEARS silently sabotage us leaving us confused, angry, resentful, and all those things we are trying to eradicate with the latest personal growth tool or snazzy new healing “technique”.

But as long as we remain unconsciously driven by the undercurrent of the THREE UNIVERSAL FEARS, we will always be searching outside ourselves for our “savior”.

Whether that be work, substances, food, sex, relationships and even the over consumption of spirituality in its many alluring forms (including religion) which aim to keep us inoculated from the raw and beautiful truth of our human condition.

Which is this: You were created from wholeness.  You are already whole right now today. And to wholeness you shall return.

You don’t need a bunch of “techniques” to get somewhere that you already are. You just need to realize it.

And a good place to begin is by becoming conscious of the THREE UNIVERSAL FEARS so that they are no longer dictating your life while you watch life go by silently from the sidelines or worse—while you cling fervently to life, white knuckling every moment of it, trying to call every shot, play by play.

A good place to begin is to learn to NAVIGATE the waters of life rather than trying to control the entire ocean.

A good place to begin is to let yourself relax today, to just ACCEPT that YOU ARE ENOUGH, you HAVE enough, and that you are BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE exactly the way you are RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

So stop trying to solve an unsolvable problem.   Instead try letting LIFE be LIVED THROUGH YOU even if for only one day- today.

I’d be curious to hear what changes for you.  Write to me and let me know!