COVID-19 Update: BOTH in person office visits AND tele-therapy appointments are available at this time . Click here for more info about what to expect in a tele-therapy session.
Are there really many different types of orgasm? Why YES there are!
Many people don’t know that there are in fact many different types of “orgasm”. What most of us tend to think of when we hear the word orgasm is more accurately described as “climax” or “peak orgasm” because in and of itself a peak orgasm or climax is not the whole picture of what is available to us when it comes to the types of orgasm that can be experienced.
This is particularly true for women and the female orgasm.
While many of the types of orgasm I am going to talk about here can be experienced by both men and women, we often tend to think of the female orgasm as being the one that is more multi-dimensional and multi-faceted as women tend to more readily be able to experience multiple orgasms.
It is also possible for men to experience multiple orgasms and even many of the “female” orgasms described here when the skill of ejaculation control is learned.
A female orgasm is non-linear, expansive, and potentially can last for much longer than what most of us are accustomed to. The female types of orgasm, being non-linear, do not have the classic buildup of tension, the climactic “peak” and ensuing explosive release that typifies a male orgasm exhibit.
Now notice here that I am not saying a “man’s orgasm” or a “woman’s orgasm”. The words male and female here refer to qualities of the types of orgasm as exhibiting either more male qualities (linear, single pointed, oriented towards a “goal) or female qualities (non-linear, expansive, non- goal oriented).
Or another way to look at it would be to describe the qualities in terms of Yang and Yin. Though it is typically easier for women to experience the female types of orgasm due to simple anatomy and typical female sexual arousal patterns, they are not limited to women alone per se. Men can also experience female types of orgasm too.
Sound weird? Stay with me, I’ll explain.
Until a different approach is taken to sex, most people will habitually experience the male/Yang type of orgasm which is reliant on the buildup of tension, an ensuing climax and explosive release that typically tends to be over within a few seconds.
In women this is most often associated with the clitoral orgasm, while in men this is most often associated with peak orgasm that typically results in ejaculation and hence the end of the sex act.
This type of linear pattern of tension, peak, and release (or more clinically: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution) is what we have come to know as “orgasm”. It’s the kind you see in the movies, and read about on the cover of Cosmo magazine.
It is also the type that has been most studied and researched by the sex therapy pioneers of the 1950’s and 1960’s William Masters and Virginia Johnson (who classified the "four stages" of the sexual response cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution) and Alfred Kinsey, who conducted many studies and wrote many of the earliest books on the study of human sexuality.
The problem is that this “peak orgasm” is a far cry from the many other types of orgasm our bodies are capable of experiencing.
The sad truth is that many people never venture beyond this linear type of “peak orgasm” to discover the expansive and extremely pleasurable world of orgasmic experiences that lie within the female types of orgasm.
One helpful way I have found to help to understand the types of orgasm involves re-framing our understanding about what orgasm is.
One sexuality educator I know suggests re-defining orgasm simply as the ability to experience pleasure as opposed to "having a climax” (which is an event, a thing that occurs in time and space with a clear beginning and clear ending), everything changes!
From this perspective orgasm becomes something we can experience all the time (if we so choose) rather than just some of the time.
Orgasm becomes a state of being that we always have access to rather than something elusive, or constrained to a mad rush towards a pre-defined “goal” called climax. This definition of orgasm also opens us up to the possibility of experiencing some of the many different types of orgasm available to us.
Let’s take a look at some of the different types of orgasm that can be experienced by women specifically:
Oh the wonderful clitoris! Orgasmically speaking the clitoral orgasm is the most common type of orgasm women experience. It is also typically the easiest type of orgasm for women to experience as well.
This could be due to the anatomical structure itself as containing many nerve fibers as well as the location of the clitoris on the external parts of the woman’s genitals-at the top of the vulva- which makes it easily accessible (no penetration required!).
Due to the various parts of the clitoris that penetrate into the deeper regions of the genitals, some experts agree that a vaginal orgasm is the same as a clitoral orgasm only that they are experienced deeper in the vagina.
A vaginal orgasm may be experienced as a throbbing or pulsing sensation deep in the vagina that may originate from the clitoris and it’s “legs” which extend beneath the tissues of the vulva.
First of all, the G-Spot is a real thing not some mythical "spot" that is elusive or imagined. What is the G-spot anyway? Click here to learn more about What is the G-Spot.
A G-Spot orgasm occurs from direct and rhythmic stimulus to the G-Spot itself. When stimulated it often will make you feel like you have to urinate. Direct stimulation when a woman is not fully aroused may feel uncomfortable or even outright dis-pleasurable.
Even during full arousal stimulation to the G-Spot can feel intense. To experience a G-Spot orgasm requires a woman to be able to deeply relax into the intense sensations.
Orgasms at the G-Spot tend to follow a different pattern than that of a peak or clitoral orgasm. They often are not so linear or clearly defined. It may be difficult to even discern that you have just experienced a G-Spot orgasm for this reason! Bottom line is that they feel and act very differently from some of the other types of orgasm described here.
This is also the type of orgasm where some women “Ejaculate” releasing a clear liquid that may feel like urine but is chemically different from your pee—so no, its not pee. Not all women ejaculate during a G-Spot orgasm but rumor has it that this this is a skill that can in fact be learned!
The bottom line for the G-Spot orgasm is that it is all about surrender, letting go, and not necessarily focused on the buildup of tension and release often experienced during a clitoral or peak orgasm.
This is what makes it “female” in nature.
In men the prostate gland is often referred to as the “male g-spot” and is a source of extreme pleasure for men that results in a completely different kind of orgasm for men more closely aligned with the female orgasm.
Like it’s name implies, a cervical orgasm is an orgasm that occurs at the location of a woman’s cervix. For a woman to be able to experience this type of deep orgasm (which is NOT the same as a vaginal orgasm), requires a tremendous amount of trust and surrender, love and appreciation.
A woman first must have a deep trust in her own body and in her ability to surrender deeply into herself, her own body, and her own emotions. She must also be with a partner whom she deeply trusts. The cervix itself is referred to in sacred sexuality as The Garden of Love and for good reason!
A cervical orgasm has been described to feel like an opening, an expansion of energy at the cervix that is not only extremely pleasurable but also deeply connected to feelings of extreme love, gratitude, and deep surrender.
Because of our cultural hyper focus on peak orgasm and climax, and the collective thinking that "it's all about the clitoris" most women never make it past the clitoral orgasm. Additionally, the deeper areas of the vagina such as the cervix and G-spot also may hold a lot of tension and emotional trauma from our past making it difficult or even painful for a woman to experience pleasure here.
This does not mean you have to have actually experienced sexual trauma. A woman’s genitals store emotion and memory from all aspects of our lives in the form of tension and even pain.
Physical and emotional tension held in the cervix or other parts of the vagina and genitals make it impossible to experience the deeper more expansive female types of orgasms such as a cervical orgasm. This is why so many women never make it past the clitoris.
The Valley Orgasm is the opposite of a peak orgasm. A valley orgasm is a type of orgasm that occurs through an approach to sex that prioritizes slowing down, removing the goal of climax, and the practice of relaxation, presence and awareness in the body.
A valley orgasm is something that naturally arises when we slow down a bit in sex, take more time, and remove the goal of climax. It is not really something you can “make happen” like you can with a peak orgasm.
A valley orgasm is also not dependent on the buildup of tension, peak and the ensuing "release” like a peak orgasm.
Rather it is entirely dependent on relaxation, presence in the body, and the natural expansion of the sexual energy as it begins to build and expand throughout the entire body (rather than just being constrained to the genital region as is typical with a peak orgasm).
Valley orgasms are “cool” in nature and they even have been described as feeling like waves of cool air or energy running through the body and can last for minutes, hours or even days!
Valley orgasms can be experienced by both men and women. And given that they usually take time and relaxation into the act of lovemaking to naturally arise, they tend to be quite dependent on the male partner making the choice to delay or even avoid ejaculation during sex.
As the sexual energy expands throughout the body it is possible really for any part of the body to experience an “orgasm”. A full body orgasm is the radiating sensation of pleasure throughout the entire body and not just limited to the genital region.
The valley orgasm described above is an example of one type of full body orgasm.
A full body orgasm more easily occurs when the energy channels in the body are open and free from tension or blockages which allows room for the sexual energy to flow throughout the body resulting in sensations of pleasure, tingling, vibrating, expansion, and bliss in areas such as the hands, heart, brain, etc.
Multiple orgasms are possible for both women and men though they tend to be more common and easier to attain in women simply due to the female sexual anatomy-meaning that the sex act does not end just because a woman orgasms. This is not so true in men where the sex act usually halts after peak orgasm and ejaculation.
In men multiple orgasms are possible when the man has mastered the skill of delaying ejaculation or chooses to avoid ejaculation altogether.
In a man the two events of orgasm and ejaculation are typically linked and thought of as being one and and the same. But the truth is that ejaculation and orgasm are not interdependent on one another: it is possible for a man to learn how to have an orgasm without ejaculating. This is how men can experience multiple orgasms that are more similar to the female orgasms described above.
Jan 21, 21 02:06 PM
The harsh moment of truth that changed my life. How I embraced the two things I never wanted to be.
Jan 08, 21 11:32 AM
What does your deeper soul desire?
Dec 22, 20 12:58 PM
Are you in a sexless marriage? How much longer do you plan to stay stuck? How many more times do you plan to push him away